For decades I referred to myself using male pronouns.  It made sense at one point because I looked male.  It never felt right, but nothing felt right. I went through life not feeling like I was human—straddling a line between male and female and not belonging in either group. 

As I got older my body began growing breasts.  This change is most obvious in the summer when I donned fewer layers of clothes.  At that point it was harder to deny that I wasn’t fully male, and living that way just felt like a lie. However things changed when I discovered the meaning of the word Intersex—my eyes opened! Finding out about being Intersex meant that I was part of a much larger community, not alone, and not abnormal.

I decided to change my pronouns for two reasons. 

First, for myself. I know that I still present as male for the most part—my face, lack of curves, and the deepness of my voice.  But I also know that I am not male, I’m Intersex.  So as a way of honoring that, I use female pronouns.  

Then secondly for others.  By announcing my pronouns I am saying to the world “there is something different about me. And if you wish to respect me, this is how to do it.”  In addition, by being public with my pronouns I am creating the space for others to feel they can share theirs and that I will be open to respecting them as well.