Where do I start? How do I recap an adventure that lasted 10 days, and encompassed 30+ towns and villages?

I undertook this hike to promote my fundraiser—raising money for Athlete Ally and InterACT.  But in having done so many other ultramarathons, I wanted to do something different and plan an adventure that wasn’t routine. One that would put me into towns I wouldn’t normally see, for an extended period of time.

Hiking across Massachusetts seemed like an ideal adventure.  I could carry a hiking pack that had my basic essentials—clothes & food—and then rely on motels and friends along the way for overnight sleeping.

There have been others before me who have walked across Massachusetts, for their causes or personal quests.  But I couldn’t find anyone who had done it for my cause—raising awareness for Trans, Queer, and Intersex rights.

As an Intersex person, this issue is near and dear to my heart.  For those who don’t know “Intersex” is an umbrella term for people who’s bodies don’t correspond to either male of female sexes.  My personal Intersex variation is called Klinefelter’s Syndrome, which is that my sex chromosomes have an XXY variation.  A typical human male has an XY pattern, and typical human female an XX pattern.  My variation is, in essence, a third sex.

The discriminations that people face because of their biological sex or gender identity are real.  I have seen and experienced it in my life.  For a long time in my youth, into my 20s, and 30s, I knew I was different. But I was never able to put my finger on what made me different than my peers. That led to anxiety and loneliness because I thought I was just an anomaly. Turns out nothing could be farther from the truth.  Intersex people make up approximately 1.7% of the world population, which is about the same percentage as those with red hair.

There are those in our government who try to nullify us by denying basic human rights in housing, education, healthcare, and job security.  They claim because we go against “societal norms,” that we are not worthy to be recognized as individuals with unique needs.

As a capable Intersex person, I wanted to show that Intersex people do exist and are as capable as any male or female person.  I had planned on meeting with people, and talking to them in town centers—but then COVID hit.  And seemingly overnight people didn’t want to interact with those who they didn’t know.  Outdoor activities and festivals were cancelled, and for a time I wondered if there would still be motels along the way for me to crash at each night.   But life returned to some normalcy in the summer, and while I wasn’t likely to see as many people along the way, walking for the cause was still valid and feasible.

Through fundraising we were able to raise about $2000!  Many people donated, and many took time to write notes saying how much they appreciated the cause.

The donation page will stay live for a bit longer.  Free2BeYou.org

In writing this recap I thought about breaking down each day separately.  But that didn’t seem appropriate since I look back on my 10 day journey as a whole.  I did make morning and evening video recaps of each day, which are listed on my Instagram TV (https://www.instagram.com/su_travels_/channel/).  But instead of a day-by-day run down, here are some of the things that I learned.

Having been raised in Eastern Mass, we sometimes see the Western and Central parts of our state as being very conservative, but really the opposite was true.  While Covid kept me from talking to many in person, I did notice that the number of handmade and pre-made yard signs that were pro-BLM and pro-Biden definitely outweighed the pro-Trump/Blue Lives Matter banners.

As I set out everyday, my pace was slow—slower than running which is my usual mode of self-travel. In running a race you often think about how far it is to you next checkpoint, and in what amount of time you should get there.  But in hiking these thoughts didn’t exist. Slowing to a walking-pace meant I also slowed down the pace of my thoughts and worries.  During the trip I didn’t think about where my next turn was going to be, or how much farther I needed to walk to get there.  And when the trip called for greater mental strength, I was able to stop and think out scenarios fully and completely, before making a final decision.

By the end of Day 3, my first full day alone, I was ready to be done.  I had the experience of having to say goodbye to two friends, and my wife, at the end of Day 2.  I walked fully alone for an entire day, and saw no one I knew.  I thought about going home for a few days to gather my mental wits.  But my wife pressed me to move forward, to not give up because she thought that I would regret it later.  She was right, I would have regretted not pushing through the hardship.  By Day 4, spending many hours with a friend, I eagerly awaited Day 5, Day 6, Day 7, etc… Having run ultras I should know that mental strength is sometimes more important than physical ability. But in the height of loneliness I forget.

At times after when I did feel alone and separate, I reminded myself that there are people who are alone because of who they are, or how they choose to dress or act.  That was the genesis for Free2BeYou, to validate those people who feel different, and to let them know that they belong in this world.  Growing up I felt that too, I was alone, friend-less for many years. I knew I was different, but didn’t understand how or why. Being alone, especially as a young person, was easily one of my most difficult experiences in my life.

Five of my 10 days I spent alone.  I woke up on my own, walked on my own, and ended the day alone.  Usually my only interaction with another person would be either waving to a resident on the side of the road, or checking in at a motel.  In being alone I was able to have time to myself for myself, to focus on my needs only. In the absence of other thoughts, I was surprised to realize just how much thought I give to work, the house, the car, etc.  There was a calm in that silence of being alone which I hadn’t expected, and now I miss.

During the 10 days there were three times where I had to adjust my route.  Once for weather, once for the mileage that needed to be done, and once to avoid a worrying part of a town. While all of these decisions meant that my route would not stay unbroken, trusting my danger-instincts was definitely more important.  It’s easy to cloud up my judgment with the thought that a hike across anything must be solid and unwavering.  But in this age of COVID we’ve all learned to break standards as our official races have gone “virtual.” It seems as we are capable of accepting route variations because of a pandemic, I can alter my route because of perceived danger.  Self-preservation in the face of risk is a much more useful skill in the long run, and I was happy to change my route accordingly.

I had scheduled two supply drops, and four friends had volunteered to walk with me on different days. My wife supported me on the first day by meeting me at several points.  Later she agreed to meet up with me one additional day, which helped tremendously!  Also it’s not often that I get to spend 5+ hours with individual friends doing something physically active—their is camaraderie through challenge.

In retrospect, spacing out my pacers would have been better, as well as having more than two supply drops—if just to see a familiar face. Doing some recon of my overnight locations would have been helpful.  In some cases, motels that seemed to be quiet, turned out to have many people congregating outside throughout the night.  More expensive motels/hotels usually equated to quieter nights.

I look forward to doing this again—though that will be a few years from now—and plan a different route.  The hike gave me the opportunity to see how people live, and find new depths of my own mind.

Stats:

141.1 miles

10 days hiking

342,728 steps

10,012 ft elev gain

5 DCR Parks visited

33 Towns & villages

3 Sports Bras used (thank you Smartwool)

31 Honda Elements spotted

0 times listened to podcasts/music

4 pounds lost