The following is a frank discussion about Sex, Gender, Transgender, and Sexuality.  There are terms used in this piece that some consider to be derogatory, but are used to describe historical and current thinking.  I apologize for using such language, but felt it necessary to be able to fully explore these topics.

When I was growing up the prevailing thought was that there are exactly two sexes, male and female. We also knew that there was a third type of person called a hermaphrodite—people that had both male and female characteristics–which is a term that is considered derogatory now.  Recently there has been a shift in our collective thinking, and people are open to understanding that sex and gender are not the same.  

So what does this mean? 

What is sex?

What is gender?

What is sexuality, and how do they relate? 

Let’s find out…

Sex

Sex refers to biological sex based on reproductive organs or sex chromosomes. 

What are reproductive organs?

Historically, if you were a man, you would have a penis, testicles, and a prostate. There are technically 14 organs that make up the male reproductive system.

A woman would have breasts, a vagina, a uterus, and ovaries. There are five main reproductive organs for females.

What are sex chromosomes?

Everybody has sex chromosomes, they determine the development of our sex organs and sex characteristics.

We have been taught that men have an “X” and a “Y” chromosome pair. While women have two “X” chromosomes. But as studies have been done, we can find more examples of people who have an “XY” pairing but they have female reproductive organs and characteristics.  As well as people with an “XX” pairing with male reproductive organs and male characteristics. These are scientific facts, and with this information some are questioning what defines biological sex. It is not black and white, as most things in nature are not.

Then there are people with chromosomal variations.  People with an “XXY” pattern, or “XXXY,” “XXX,” “XXYY,” etc. These people can sometimes share reproductive organs and sex characteristics of both male and female, and are referred to as Intersex.

Some argue that having just three sexes aren’t enough, and that biological sex is in fact a spectrum.  A spectrum ranging from male on one end, female on the other, and an infinite number of possibilities between.

Gender

Historically gender and sex have been equal, but with newer generations and new ideas, we can see that gender can be different than biological sex.  Two common phrases used on this topic are Gender Identity, and Gender Expression.

Gender Identity is how a person feels on the inside, whether its male, female, or somewhere in between.

Gender Expression is how that person expresses their gender to the outside world. For example, how they dress, how they act, and/or how they talk.  It may be as simple as how they address themselves, which pronouns they use, or how they wear their hair.

But both terms under the umbrella of Gender are separate from Biological Sex. Again the concept of a spectrum comes into play—the Gender Spectrum being typical male on one end, and typical female on the other, with an infinite number of possibilities between.

A definition that some people trip up on is Transgender.  There are people who argue that if Gender relates to how a person feels and acts, then being Transgender is not related to biological sex.  The term Transgender is something of a misnomer, and for descriptive purposes would be better referred to as “Transsexual.”  However, that term is generally regarded as a derogatory, and therefore no longer used in the mainstream. 

Transgender refers to a person who is somewhere on the Sex Spectrum, and wishes to change their sex through hormone therapy and/or surgery.  The Gender (Expression and Identity) of a transgender person may or may not change.

Sexuality

This term has nothing to do a person’s Biological Sex, Gender Identity, or Gender Expression. Sexuality is about who a person is attracted to emotional, romantically, and/or sexually.

Heterosexual individuals are attracted to a person of the opposite sex.

Homosexual individuals are attracted to a person of the same sex.

Bisexual individuals are attracted to people of both the opposite and the same sex.

Pansexual individuals are attracted to people on any part of the Sex or Gender spectrum.

To go one step further, sexuality has nothing to do with monogamy and polygamy, as these relate to the number of sexual parters a person prefers to have at a single time. For example, it is a common misconception that bisexual people have both male and female partners at any given time. This is not true, and a bisexual person can have monogamous relationships if they choose. 

At this point some people may be wondering how all of these definitions relate to them, and what has this world come to with so many new words.  It can be daunting—if you let it.

For most of us, through most conversations and interactions during the day the path through all of these concepts is simple—treat the people you meet with the respect you would show your loved one(s). 

The rest of it, the Sex, Gender Expression, Gender Identity, Sexuality, etc of another person has nothing to do with you.  Live and let live.